I am tempted to apologize. I am sorry sits heavy on my tongue, chiding and unrelenting. I've said those three words hundreds of times. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. My apologies were more description of being than evidence of contrition. They expressed regret for who I am as opposed to my decisions. They were more martyrdom than accountability. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I was liberal with apologies and scant with forgiveness. The outward graciousness with inward hypocrisy only exacerbated the apologies frequency until saying I am sorry was as involuntary as breathing. I am sorry...Automatic and insincere...I am sorry...Automatic and insecure...I am sorry...Automatic out of fear... I am tempted to apologize, but I will not.
