Catharsis
ca·thar·sis
\kə-ˈthär-səs\
noun
The process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.
Retribution:
One day I was in the kitchen with my mom. I had just finished a conversation with my sweet, same aged boyfriend in which I had not been gentle. She looked at me, sternly, and uttered words I have yet to forget. "You had better stop treating him that way before someone comes along and mistreat you. You reap what you sow, Kechia."
You were retribution indeed.
I met you the summer after my eighth grade school year. I was excited about starting high school; you had just graduated. Naively, I believed our age gap was insignificant. My parents felt otherwise, but they allowed our budding relationship while making their disapproval loud and clear. My mom who became pregnant with me at sixteen did not want to create a situation where her teenager would feel "sneaking around" was warranted. I later realized that, just as they warned, you were much "sharper" than the fourteen/ fifteen year old me, and I thought I was as sharp as they come.
There is no need to delve into all the particulars here. Everything has been asked and answered, and we, as adults, have offered one another apologies and forgiveness. Even still I have to vocalize some things that went unsaid.
Thank you for not pressuring me to have sex. As heartbroken as I was when we ended the way we ended, I was comforted knowing we didn't take that huge step. I was able to stand so firmly partly because you did not push. That was unselfish, and I appreciate it.
I don't think you know, but you have been one of the most influential people in my life. I learned from you. I did. I learned about the resilient nature of love and power of forgiveness. I learned that my parents know their shit, and it's a good idea to listen to them. I learned humility; there's always someone sharper. I learned that love does not negate standards. Most importantly, I learned that people can love each other, really love one another, and not belong together.
Overall, I'm grateful for the experience, and as you well know, there's no love lost.
