I was sitting in the closet, bawling, on the phone with my mother when she made that statement. The 23 year old me was overwhelmed, frustrated, and in crisis. Marriage, school, work, and life had fatigued my coping skills, and the only thing I could do in that moment was sit and cry. (The closet felt like the perfect place to do both.) I needed my Mommy. Like the shero that she is, she allowed me to vent, talk about ANY and EVERYthing, and she responded perfectly. It was something about her understanding "as a woman" that made me feel comforted, visible, and connected.
I wasn't the first woman to sit in a closet and cry; I wouldn't be the last. I wasn't the first woman to feel overwhelmed as a wife; I wouldn't be the last. I wasn't the first woman toppled over by an inability to balance life; I wouldn't be the last. And, I was not the first woman who needed her Mother to make everything better, and I would not be the last.
I appreciate my mom for mothering, sistering, friending, listening, counseling, and being all that she is to me. We do not have a perfect mother-daughter relationship. We've had our highs and lows. I can say, without any doubt, that my mom loves me and I love her. We've built a transparency and closeness that is unparalleled. She's the "queen of my heart" always and forever.
P.S.
Whenever I'm having a particularly Kechia moment, she often says "whoever raised you, raised you wrong." It always makes us laugh, but I should tell her more often that I appreciate how I was raised.
