We're Going To Need More Wine

This book has made me laugh aloud and uncontrollably. (Chapters 6 and 11 😂) It has made me sob with understanding, empathy, and sympathy. It has made me exclaim: "Yes! She fucking gets it! Thank God she included that!" I've had revelations. I've been challenged. This read has most certainly been like a needed conversation with a good friend. Gabrielle Union, thank you! ❤
P.S.
I haven't finished it yet. When I love a book, I prolong the read not wanting it to end.

Unstoppable

She hated her job and went to work.
She lost her religion still attending church.
She smiled when she wanted to cry.
She lived while considering suicide.
She stood courageous being stoned by shame.
She kept her head despite mental pain.
Have you saw the internal mountains she's moved?
Have you heard about the demons slayed?
Yes. She is powerful and so fucking brave.
She took breaths when life suffocated her lungs.
Watch her. Witness the woman she is bound to become.

I know so many resilient women. I am a resilient woman. Shout out to us! ❤

Father's Day 2018

Because I know there are so many people who have mixed to unpleasant feelings about their dads, I wanted to share this. It was heavy on me today. The man in this photo is my step-dad. He and my mom, at one point, had a beautiful, loving marriage. He and my mom also had a toxic, unhealthy marriage. Today, he and mom are no longer married, and I am happy about that. In all cases, my brothers and I witnessed it all. My stepdad and I are no longer close, but as evidenced by this photo, there was a time I absolutely adored him. No one, not even me and I have tried, can convince me it was not mutual and authentic. There were times he said hurtful things no parent should ever say to a child, and I said highly disrespectful things that should never be said to a parent. There are painful experiences in our relationship that took a lot of time, introspection, and forgiveness to move past. Now we are not forced to interact with one another. We don't have to, but we still occasionally call or text each other to make sure the other knows he/she is loved. Anthony taught me things that make me a better human. He taught me things about family, culture, individuality, society, and life that I cannot disregard or discard and have no desire to. I am who I am because my father is Lee and my stepfather is Anthony. I cannot be unshaped by my father or stepfather, and I do not wish to be. I believe with everything in me that all of my experiences with these two men, good or bad, make me more equipped for my destiny. So today I called my stepdad and told him "Happy Father's Day" simply because my relation to him impacts who I am. While I am a work in progress, I like who I am and who I am becoming. Denying my fathers' impact on my being creates a form of inner chaos and dysfunction.

For those with strained father relationships, be encouraged. Forgiveness is possible even if a relationship is unlikely or undesired. I think forgiveness for our parents grows us in ways that are shockingly freeing.

Here's The Thing #1

A special individual recently suggested I consider that "the most unique thought a person can have is that he/she is not so unique." Our conversation so helped my perspective. In my personal life walk, I have "othered" myself from others. I made myself an outcast for a lot of negative, self-disparaging reasons and self-imposed bullshit. I was fully immersed in feeling damnableness that lead to shame, isolation, a lack of transparency with those I care about, and many fucking awful days of feelings like complete and utter shit.

Here's the thing. What if the things you are beating yourself up for are not uncommon? What if there are other people walking this Earth who have taken similar paths, made similar choices, and/or had to face similar beyond-their-control events? What if there are other people who think the thoughts you think? What if someone else shares your experience? Are they fucked up beyond repair? Hopeless? Unique?  Or, like you, are they human, perfectly capable of redemption and forgiveness, able to rise above shit (self-imposed, genetic-imposed, and environment-imposed) and live life true to their highest selves?

I am not unique. There is not an area of life experience that I stand alone in without a single person, living or dead, to know what it is like. The same is true for you. You are not unique, and I mean this with good will and the best intention.

Sometimes the darkness is so incredibly dark because there is no one there to tell you "Hey, stop worrying so much. You can overcome this. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Know that nothing you have done is beyond Love's scope. I've been there. I've only recently left there. I am there right now. There's hope. Take my hand. Let's prove that connectedness lights up the darkest places."

Find your community. Build your tribe. Get out of self. Know that it gets better. Know that you are definitely not alone!

Dear Friend:
Thank you for taking my hand and challenging and shifting my perspective.

Heavy Femininity

I have whiskers and fur.
I am not into bags or shoes.
The hair on top of my head
does whatever it wants to do.
I wear what I'm comfortable in;
I shop out of necessity.
I don't wear makeup.
I love romantic comedies.
I often swear when I speak;
I'm honest when I write.
My body, well it's my body,
and I can be promiscuous if I like
and celibate when I choose.
My body is all curves;
my personality is edgy.
My character is enduring.
My femininity is heavy.
Woman is not synonymous with wife or mother.
It is not defined by fashion and beauty.
Woman is not the presence or absence
of a marketable face and sex appeal.
Woman is not a stiletto, wedge, or flat.
It's not Urban Decay,
Kylie Cosmetics, Fenty Beauty, or Mac.
Woman is not bare-faced natural.
It's not trends and brands.
Woman is not breasts and vaginas.
Woman is me, being myself,
living my truth, maximizing my potential,
committing to be kind to my self,
my body, and my neighbors,
especially my sisters in womanhood.
Woman is her, being herself,
living her truth, maximizing her potential,
committing to be kind to her self,
her body, and her neighbors,
especially her sisters in womanhood.

An Ode To My Womenfolk

I am.
A force like my Granny
Fierce like Aunt Tammy
And sweet as pie like Aunt Jenny
I am.
Independent like Aunt Deborah
A quiet strong like Aunt Sarah
Well spoken like Aunt Jackie
And can cook a meal like Aunt Abby...or so I try
I am.
Down-to-Earth like Aunt Kechia
A fighter like Amgleshia
Trying to work hard like Andrea
Because I have vision like TeAnn
I am.
Resilient like Tamika
Creative like Denise
Audacious like Tay Tay
Fearless like CeCe
I am.
Pushing through like Montoya
With humility like Deedee
Determined like Candis
And unbreakable like Natalie
I am.
Good-hearted like Constance
With that gentle quality like Ashley
Unapologetic like Kateland
And still amiable like Jacci
I am.
Generous like Aunt Tan
Graceful like Aunt Denane
No-holds-barred like Ebone'
Firm in my truth like Ton'e
I am.
Precious like Azelynn Grace
A survivor like my Grandma Gray
And a wonder like Mama
I am.
Still breathing
Still living
Still here
I am LeKechia Lyshell.

Happy Easter!

For believers, this day represents the most significant event in history. Jesus, Christ, the Messiah, died a brutal death of crucifixion. His mother and followers were in the midst of mourning Him when the miraculous happened. He was resurrected from the dead. Maybe wrapping your mind around the idea of a dead person or situation coming to life is too difficult, but you can simplify it. Hope was restored. That, my friends, is the gist. For believers, this day signifies restored hope in victory over death, freedom over sin, and the promise of everlasting, eternal life with the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost; Jesus' resurrection created a permanent hope. Maybe you're not a believer. Maybe, like me, you didn't find yourself at church this morning. Maybe you just don't feel it today. That's okay. I hope you can accept this simplified truth: Hope after great loss, sorrow, and sadness can be restored. May that bring you comfort this Easter Sunday.

P.S.
Friendship is what hope looks like to me today. It is last Sunday's brunch with a group of ladies I love and adore. It is a best friend who understands so deeply why Coco causes tears and smeared mascara. It is a truth-telling sister who would fly from Kentucky to Texas for her sister. It is a message from a friend letting you know you are seen.