Often we try to out-suffer each other as a way to indicate we are tough with high endurance.
On the surface, it's the weirdest shit.
You worked 80 hours this week?
I work 168 hours every week, cook daily, and work out too.
You think single life is hard?
I have a spouse, 78 kids, and 5 full-time jobs.
You think married life is hard?
Try handling everything without support.
You think 1 kid is hard?
Try being a parent to 106 kids.
You think your childhood was hard?
...
So on and so forth.
We reduce and delegitimize. We make our experiences central and everyone else's relative. We act as though we're all experiencing everything in the exact same way.
When I get out of judgement and look below the surface, I see people who need to be validated. We're not simply suffering addicted weirdos. We just want confirmation that our experiences are real and meaningful. We want to know our individual hard is actually hard.
Here's the reminder:
If you are experiencing a thing, and it is difficult to you. It's difficult. Period. It doesn't matter its level of ease for anyone else.
If I am experiencing a thing, and it is difficult for me. It's difficult. Period. It doesn't matter its level ease for anyone else.
...
Help me to remember that frailty is part of the human experience and Divine power is perfected in my weakness. Help me to listen to and support others without comparison and reduction. When I forget, remind me that tolerance for trauma is not a metric of strength. Let me embrace joy, peace, and rest. Let me release my addiction to suffering. Help me to be a safe, soft space for others.
