I went from refuting God's existence to affirming God's presence, power, love, and hands in my life. It's only been about two months since the latter happen. The good thing about where I was versus where I am is that the memory is fresh. Even if no one else knows or understands, I know well what was happening in my heart and life that brought me to the point of faithlessness. I know well the build-up of trauma, pain, and anger that created the frustration I had. You know who else knows it and knows it well? Jesus. The Bible says "we don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. (Hebrews 4:15 MSG)
It helped me to know, really know, that God, the awe-inspiring Creator of everything, knows me fully, sees me clearly, and loves me completely. People are not like that. People look at appearance and actions to determine how much love and grace another is deserving of, but God looks at the heart which He knows with a complete knowledge. He's not missing any information. He does not have misinformation either. When God sees you and me, He sees us in light of everything we are and everything we've experienced. In fact, 1 Kings 8:39 says "...for you know each life from the inside. You’re the only one with such “inside knowledge!"
Proverbs 3:5-6 is a well-known, commonly quoted scripture. Most of us have heard it. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV) My favorite part is verse 6, the encouragement to acknowledge God "in all your ways." The Amplified Bible translates it this way: "In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]. (Proverbs 3:6 AMP)
I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be sin-free. I don't have to look like anyone's version of Saint. In all of my ways, I can know, accept, and recognize God. While I'm trusting Him, not relying on my incomplete understanding, and acknowledging Him in all my ways, He's working things out, removing obstacles that block my path, and making my path straight. The same is true for you.
We cannot allow others' criticism of our beings, lives, and behaviors deter us from knowing God. Let's move through life understanding that they do not have the full picture; they don't have the "inside knowledge." God does, and He gives us the opportunity to "walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give," so let's "take the mercy, accept the help" this Sunday and everyday. (Hebrews 4:16 MSG)
