Roadblock: Algophobic Masochist Part II

Too much love to prevent forgiveness.
Too much hurt to allow forgetting.
Though I've had my share of obstacles,
You're the most challenging yet.
My heart won't let me get over you.
The memories won't let me move pass.
There is no way around you.
You're a roadblock in my path,
Stubborn and immovable
In the annoying way that you are.
Keen to my weaknesses;
Knowing I wouldn't get too far
Before reaching for you once more.
And you, strong and tired,
Quietly celebrated another win
Over my heart and body
Which this time I voluntarily surrendered.
I remember times when that was not the case;
When my protesting fell on deaf ears;
When you didn't consider the fear
Evident on my tear-stained face.
Although it was I in need of consolation,
The following morning, inevitably,
I was comforting you.
Wiping tears from your eyes,
Showering affection and love,
Reminding you of your goodness,
And reassuring you
That come hell or high water,
Nothing could separate us.
Lacking full range of motion in my neck,
I managed to turn your countenance.
My head throbbing with pain,
And I alleviated your worries.
Body sore, mentally exhausted, I
In love and in madness,
Found a way to care for you
As if, of the two of us,
You were the only one that mattered.
We were equally surprised
When I finally had enough;
When the apologies proved insufficient;
When my loyalty shifted;
When I became the victor.
I was both saddened and disappointed
That I couldn't celebrate for long.
Even in this new found bravery,
Love for you consistently accosted me,
And I'm wondering if you're okay.
I find myself wandering
Through the previous stage.
It feels like I'm betraying myself
Because my heart won't let me get over you,
And the memories won't let me move pass.
There is no way around you.
You're a roadblock in my path,
Stubborn and immovable
In the infuriating way that you are.