At Your Mercy

I'll devour your suggestions.
Tell me something.
Say anything.
I'm not keen on pleading,
but you have what I need.
So, here I am.
Without pretense,
here I am.

Reintegration

My heart races.
My stomach leaps.
I listen as though
I'm not the one who speaks.
My innards shout.
My anxiety prods.
I'm there, in that moment;
I'm outside my mind.
I observe myself.
It's my voice speaking my truth.
It's my conscious both aware and aloof.
Those are my emotions and experiences.
Disassociation from her
doesn't disconnect me from them.
"Damn. I cannot disown myself."
The realization stings.
I'm coaxed from hover and observation
to awareness and participation.
I rejoin myself, and we sit in our truth.

Wow. Just wow. Stop and listen.

https://youtu.be/-qy3REaKk2Q

Welcome Home

This was different. It was neither rumination nor impulsivity. It wasn't ossified or skittish. It flowed through me, a foreign object with a soul good feel. "Balance?" I spoke aloud and paused to await its response. Gratitude nudged, retrieving me from an awestricken state, and I remembered my manners.

Allies of Heidi

My dear friend, Heidi Brooks, had a stroke this week at age 26. Since I met Brooks, she has become family away from family. Although I am older, I look up to her.

I admire Brooks' confidence, awareness, compassion, and accountability. I respect the unapologetically feminist, millennial, YA afficionado, "friend connect," beautiful force that is HCB. (HCB is yet another nickname.) She is an independent, intelligent, civically engaged, passionate young woman.

Heidi has a Bachelors of English and looks forward to starting a Masters of Library Science program soon. She has worked with youth for years and currently serves as a Volunteer Coordinator for a nonprofit organization. She is determined to make a positive impact, and you can bet your ass that she will.

She loves Harry Styles and Taylor Swift. She introduced me to the magic that is Janelle Monáe. (I am forever indebted.) Heidi is a sister and dog lover. She has the best nickname for her mom. Her lingo is completely original and catchy "AF."  She is one of the sweetest, most genuine people I know.

We want Heidi to focus on recovery, and this fundraiser is to help her along her journey. Nothing is too small. If you can donate, please do. Thank you.

https://www.gofundme.com/allies-of-heidi

Love Speaks

Love took the shape of a Woman ---
a Sister-friend.
Love spoke when She spoke.
Love comforted when She comforted.
Love nurtured.
Through Her, because of Her,
Love nestled me.
Love filled my lungs;
She gave me life.
My Sister-Woman saw me,
affirming that Love sees.
She brought gifts for my soul,
and Love broke its vow of silence
with audible and gracious power.
They, She and Love, She with Love,
Love in She, revived me.
And I will be forever grateful...

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Dear Sara. I love you.

Of Men & Kings

"The people of Israel asked for a king,
and they got Saul."
He laughed his big, beautiful laugh
and reminded her of David and Solomon.
She thought it over for a moment.
"David murdered Uriah and took his wife."
"He was also a man after God's own heart."
"Damn." she thought to herself,
"That is David's trademark."
"The desire for a king is rejection of God."
"Kings, for better or worse, are merely men.
They are not gods,
and you are not a biblical figure."
"I know that, but..."
He interjected. "But what?"
He laughed. She conceded,
finally done drawing parallels...
You see?
She is emotion.
He is black and white.
His speech is aesthetic.
She's most beautiful when she writes.
She is catch-as-catch-can.
He is steadiness and sense.
She is quirks and uncertainties.
He is acceptance and non-ambiguity.
She is norms and rigidity.
He is openness and fluidity.
Their conversations are quests,
each confirming what she knew
from the moment he spoke.
He is equal parts man and king.