I've been a parent for less than two years. There is endless acclimation and reacclimation. As the child goes through stages, so do careers, friendships, relationships, families, finances, and parents.
There is much consensus about children changing everything. There is much judgment - from within and without - about how those changes take shape. About how long it takes to settle and resettle into normalcy in each stage.
Life, like diapers and play areas, can be messy. It can be shitty, and, shit stinks. The literal and figurative smell doesn't linger forever, but it can take over in moments.
I seek a permission structure. I want to gift myself permission to figure all of this out. To learn my child at and on his level. To become the mother and woman I wish to be. I neither plan nor expect to parent and human without error or odor.
I do plan to give myself patience and grace. I plan to let MJ be an individual and a child. He is so worthy of patience, grace, and insulation from labeling. I am a parent. I signed up to caretake, protect, and absorb. In a way, I signed up for exhaustion.
Exhaustion is inevitable. Judgment is unavoidable. Shit happens. We're in a leap, not a free fall.
