I expressed my challenge of feeling emotionally safe with most people. Now, I experience overwhelm with concern for MJ's safety. "I'm constant on the lookout of threats" was the gist. My dear, kind, open, honest friend, listened, affirmed, acknowledged, and comforted.
(It was a master class in perspective taking.)
My immediate reaction to the awareness surrounding safety: "Oh shit! I must [insert an automatic, unhealthy response] to ensure [insert a controlled, comfortable outcome]. I was focused on the fear, not the gift of being seen and felt.
I did not properly articulate in the moment, but my friend makes me feel safe. I show up to spaces with them transparent and vulnerable without facade and bravado. It's freeing.
I have a lot to learn about making others feel safe too. I have a lot to unlearn about what constitutes a threat. I am willing to do this work.
