"Why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"

Growing up I thought pervasive sadness, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness, isolation, and unworthiness were Kechia things. Since they were a character defect, I hid them under public facing kindess and smiles. I was a savage to myself.

Then, the contrast between my light and darkness created added shame. It widened the gap to authenticity. It made me feel unknown and unknowable. 

The first time I went to therapy because of the "strong" recommendation from my director and HR. I was working at a mental health hospital. Something happened in my personal life that would not be quiet or hidden. 

I thought I would die from the embarrassment. That embarrassment saved me. ALL things work together...

Ted Graeser, LPC (Garland) was my first therapist. We had 3 sessions through EAP. In that office, I started the process of unburdening.

When I moved to Amarillo, it took a few tries, but I connected with Maxine Westmoreland, LPC. We went deeper. Our therapeutic relationship was invaluable. In her office I started to gain understanding.

Healing is a process. Dysfunction can be comforting. I stopped and started sessions multiple times. I was not yet ready to "do my work" as Iyanla Vanzant would say.

When I was ready, I connected with Natasha Glass, LPC (Dallas). Our sessions...I tried to finish describing what this process has been like and could not. 

I "push" therapy because I know the impact Ted, Maxine, and Natasha made in my life. They partnered with me. They advocated for me to me.

Everything didn't change.

 

Traumas did not instantly resolve. Triggers did not cease to exist. But I was heard, seen, and challenged. I was reminded that I am not powerless against my mind and life's experiences.

There were times that my depression and anxiety required medication. That's okay too. My providers supported me through that.

This world is designed to make us cover up. So many of us are not mentally healthy, trying to power through, and convinced we are alone. Talking doesn't fix everything, but silence can be deadly. We laud our wins. We are mute on our losses. 

The hype is a lie. No one wins all the time. Everyone catches hell from time to time.

Science and religion are on the same page about the power of what happens in the mind. It's real. It's hard. It often requires help.

We all struggle. 

We don't have to suffer.

Word to the unseen:

We (everybody reading this) shall live [abundant lives] and not die [mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etcetera].

I used their names because I highly recommend either for starting the therapeutic journey.