I started college in January of 2010; I was 19. That was almost 9 years ago. I have worked on my bachelor degree for almost a decade. I do not say that because I am proud. (I am quite ashamed actually.) I say it because it is true. Even more embarrassing for me is that I have been one semester away from completion since December of 2014. I just couldn't hack it.
There was depression and anxiety. There was marriage and divorce. There were the funerals of my Papa O.C. and Granny Gloria and Uncle Topper. There was pregnancy and miscarriage. There was move after move, loss, and lost. There was fear, failure, and hopelessness. There were poor, wrong, and unloving-to-self decisions. There was me, in my head and in my way, with excuses, apathy, and bullshit inner dialogue.
Today, August 11, 2018, means more to me than I can adequately express. It is not "just a Bachelor of General Studies." It is a win. It is proof of forgotten resilience and endurance. It is a reminder of family members, friends, coworkers, supervisors, teachers, and professors who encouraged, supported, and assisted me along the way. It is Hope affirming all is not lost. It is Courage cautioning never give up. It is Humility softening my heart. It is God wrapping me in Love, Grace, and Assurance.
It is a finished race and the start of a new one.
My transcript looks like the alphabet. My GPA needs Jesus. My age rounds to 30. It was a long, endurance run. I look raggedy. I'm breathless. I'm tired. My courage gave out many, many times along the way, but I am here! I am a first generation college graduate. The struggle was real; this feeling is priceless.
P.S.
I decided not to attend the ceremony, but I'm dancing across somebody's stage when I get my masters. Expect an even longer essay on that day. 😜😘😁👩🏿🎓
