Too many losses to take it all in,
Motivated forgetting became a remedy,
But every now & again
The pain is dredged up,
Subconsciously.
Then dreams become reminders
That my grief is incomplete.
So tonight I'll stop deferring
The experience of pain.
I'll cycle through all of them:
Denial, anger, bargaining,
Depression, & acceptance.
I'll willing feel what's necessary.
I'll purposely search for the lessons.
Before sun rise,
I'll have the final cry
Before a peaceful sleep.
Mourning before morning
Can be a beautiful thing.
