In The Name of God...
We have to be more sensitive to one another. We are all connected. No matter our beliefs, we are all members of the human race. Everyone is our neighbor. We share the same planet. We can have compassion and love for one another in spite of our differences. We are capable of embracing our beautiful diversity and thriving because of it.
What I like best about getting older is my perspective shifts. I care a lot more about what matters and a lot less about the tomfoolery that doesn't. I want to accomplish goals for different, better reasons. I'm more aware of my strengths and areas for improvement. I'm becoming more comfortable in my skin and more confident in my abilities. I am not scared of my voice or afraid to share my truths. I'm firm in my beliefs. I'm not so easily moved by others' opinions. All in all, time is one of the best things that has ever happened to this Sisterwoman, and I look forward to more growth, wisdom, humility, confidence, and queening. 💪✊✌
Forgetting is not possible.
Recollection, however probable,
does not nullify self-control.
Though consciousness is inevitable,
Expression can be responsible.
Restraint is my hellacious goal.
Certainty, the thing you demand of me, is something I cannot give.
I love you with conviction, but my doubt in us still lives.
We've established want and need, but what we lack is tremendous.
I do not trust you and me or our fragile compos mentis.
We take turns residing in extremes and engineering roller coasters.
No, I will not succumb to your beliefs.
I'm sorry. Don't be hopeful.
I lose confidence in us daily.
How am I expected to find faith in forever?
I love you with all certainty, but
I am uncertain that we belong together.
"What's the role of a man, LeKechia?"
It was yet another pop quiz from my father.
"Guide, provide, protect" I respond.
We have done this for as long as I can remember.
He asks a question; I answer it.
He starts a statement; I finish it
Telling him what he's taught me.
Often I did not agree and vocalized my objections.
"Keep on living, baby"
His standard response to my passionate opinions.
The older I get the more I refrain.
This is our thing, so I entertain him,
Half amused, half delighted.
"If you have to work..."
He was waiting for me.
"You might as well get paid." I respond.
My body discriminates.
It detects the sound of your silence
And impact of your auditory impressions.
It reads the prints of your touch
And knows the feel of your presence.
It speaks your body's language
And hears the rhythm of your motions.
It translates your nonverbal cues
And responds to your emotions.
It favors the taste of your kiss
And certifies the quality of your lips.
It catches traces of your fragrance
And embraces your scent.
My body discriminates.
It knows you,
Intimately and completely.
My body finds you preferable.
Everything about you,
To my body, is perceptible.
Today is my 14th day not including meat in my diet. That's not a long time, but I want this to be a lifelong decision. Like so many people, I grew up eating meat, and it has always been big portion of my diet. After taking a class on sustainability, calculating my environmental footprint, and learning about the abuse and cruelty animals raised for food are made to suffer, I know this is the right decision. Additionally, I would like to be healthier, and I believe a plant-based diet is the way for me to achieve this. I was on Peta's website looking for information and came across this powerful statement:
...
"In his book Animal Liberation, Peter Singer states that the basic principle of equality does not require equal or identical treatment; it requires equal consideration. This is an important distinction when talking about animal rights. People often ask if animals should have rights, and quite simply, the answer is “Yes!” Animals surely deserve to live their lives free from suffering and exploitation. Jeremy Bentham, the founder of the reforming utilitarian school of moral philosophy, stated that when deciding on a being’s rights, “The question is not ‘Can they reason?’ nor ‘Can they talk?’ but ‘Can they suffer?’” In that passage, Bentham points to the capacity for suffering as the vital characteristic that gives a being the right to equal consideration. The capacity for suffering is not just another characteristic like the capacity for language or higher mathematics. All animals have the ability to suffer in the same way and to the same degree that humans do. They feel pain, pleasure, fear, frustration, loneliness, and motherly love. Whenever we consider doing something that would interfere with their needs, we are morally obligated to take them into account."
On nights like tonight
When you find it hard to sleep
I'll stay awake with you.
We can talk about anything.
Or absolutely nothing...
We can laugh until it hurts;
We can have serious discussions.
Play your favorite songs;
Sing along if you desire.
I don't care that you're out-of-tune;
Your happiness is melodic.
Read the definitions
Of words you learned today.
I love how the dictionary
Puts a smile on your face.
And when you're ready to write,
I'll sit, patiently and quiet,
Reading your body language
As catharsis arrives.
I enjoy your quirks;
I love how your mind works.
On nights like tonight,
You clear your thoughts,
Reserving nothing from me,
And I witness the openness
You issue with exclusivity.
Humility, her newfound companion,
Offered her the gift of self-understanding,
Ending the lifelong discord within.
She took ownership of her decisions,
Reconciled with the consequences,
Extended grace to herself,
And accepted a bounty of chances
For trial-and-error;
Learning and growth;
Appreciation of her progress
While realizing how far she must go.
Empowered to stand transparent in her truth,
And disclose herself fully to you,
She silenced the depreciating voice of shame.
The experiences challenged her;
She knew she had changed,
And for that she was grateful.
Gratefulness for the lessons
Remedied the regrets.
Loving you is wrong;
It could never be right.
I accept it.
I won’t help you
Fool me. Tonight,
Reality has set in.
This is goodbye,
Finally.
Where no skeletons are buried
And all memories unborn
Where no secrets are hidden
And there's no reason for scorn
Where all faces are strange
And all glances meaningless
Where no one knows my name
And freedom is infinite...
Take me to that place
Too many losses to take it all in,
Motivated forgetting became a remedy,
But every now & again
The pain is dredged up,
Subconsciously.
Then dreams become reminders
That my grief is incomplete.
So tonight I'll stop deferring
The experience of pain.
I'll cycle through all of them:
Denial, anger, bargaining,
Depression, & acceptance.
I'll willing feel what's necessary.
I'll purposely search for the lessons.
Before sun rise,
I'll have the final cry
Before a peaceful sleep.
Mourning before morning
Can be a beautiful thing.
I quietly adored them.
Your arms, so big, so strong,
For me, they embodied home.
In them I felt cherished and safe.
I loved how you held me
In the most perfect way...
A comforting amount of tightness
With a gentle touch of fragility.
Confirming my inner goddess,
You held me with sacrosanctity.
I was willingly subdued by them.
They became my favorite place,
Evoking something in me,
An inexplicable, beautiful feeling.
Enraptured in your arms;
I believed they brought healing,
And I had to touch them
As if they were the hem of Jesus' cloak.
I remember the night I watched the enchantment flee;
Your hands were steadfast around my throat.
In that moment, I felt
Inadequate in my femininity,
Helpless and weak.
Their strength betrayed me.
They shifted from affection to enmity,
And violence seized the arms
That I once held in high esteem.
May 2017 show kindness to you.
May laughter abound in your life.
May your worries lessen.
May happiness fill your heart.
May love overflow in and through you.
May this be one of your best, most productive, happiest, most growth-filled years!
Happy New Year!
With love & sincerity,
LeKechia Lyshell
