Favorite Quotes
“If growing up is painful for the Southern Black girl, being aware of her displacement is the rust on the razor that threatens the throat. It is an unnecessary insult.”
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
"...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you; we are in charge of our attitudes."
“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”
“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
Monday, December 18, 2023
It's Not You; It's Not Me
Part of my work - the ongoing healing, growing work - is recognizing triggers; understanding them without judgment [of myself and others]; accepting who I am; and changing what peace necessitates.
This morning I sit in bed thinking about the ways I was triggered yesterday. I see a theme. Every instance of a negative emotion brought up feelings of inadequacy.
I am not _________ enough.
So often it comes back to that.
Deficiency.
I am not enough.
That's the story I've been telling myself for a myriad of reasons for decades. That's the perception that tints these gray-colored glasses. That is the feces I wade through.
I wonder what it is like for those close to me as I process external and internal stimuli mid-conversation while trying to be/feel/respond like a "normal" human who is not overly stimulated by too many people, too much noise; too many thoughts.
I wonder if less chatter - mental and external - contributes to being a homebody.
I wonder if we are all having the same or a similar experience. If we are, it's not you. It's not me. It's all of us.
I also recognize how I used the tools in my box. I did a round of EFT (tapping) before leaving home. I got sunlight. I "put some respect" on sleep and hunger. I listened to books and podcasts that uplift. I brought awareness into the spaces I entered. I asked myself questions that led to deeper understanding and grace.
While I may not change the story in a day or year, I challenge it. I am aware of when it's speaking with authority and conflating with truth. I am actively listening to solutions from within and confident they are there.
Wisdom, knowledge, and creative power lie on the inside. Contrary to the story, they are not buried deep - tantalizing and unreachable. The noise - from within and without - may get loud, but it cannot uproot the gifts. We will not be shaken out of peace.
...
If I am, if you are, singular in experience, a quote from Harry Potter comes to mind:
"Tell me one last thing,” said Harry. “Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?”
Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry’s ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure.
“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"
We are still real.