Unnecessary Insults: November 2022

Favorite Quotes

“If growing up is painful for the Southern Black girl, being aware of her displacement is the rust on the razor that threatens the throat. It is an unnecessary insult.”

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

"...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you; we are in charge of our attitudes."

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Inspiration

"...Even if this never finds you, and we never speak again, you've changed my life. You know what inspiration is? It's someone who let's you know life will go on and something beautiful can be waiting somewhere..."

- Waiting to Exhale

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Consideration & Permission

I am flying back to Amarillo tomorrow (Thursday). Part of me wants/needs to change the return flight to Dallas and have a visit with family at home. Part of me wants/needs time at home in Amarillo.

Both needs (and ideas of home) are true.

My home is in Amarillo where my possessions, life, and community are. My home is also in Dallas and Greenville where my people are. Home is also my body and self because I am my most sacred space.

It is wild to know that from December 2018 until May 2021 I did not see my family. (And, we live in the same state.) My issues and fear were valid, but my response was extreme. I allowed one familia relationship to impact them all. That was not fair or wise.

I visited home again in July 2022. I will visit again before the year ends. The gap between visits is shrinking. I will keep it this way. Always.

Last Saturday my therapist and I talked about honoring my feelings.

I know some think I am a fly-by-night, do-as-I-please person. As a single, child-free woman, I do have a lot of freedom to move as I wish as long as I am willing to deal with the [desired or not] consequences. But, I am a considerate human.

If you have never sat with me as I agonize over how my decisions may impact others, and few have, you may not know that I am deeply feeling with people-pleasing tendencies. I have to work hard to not overthink. I have to work extra hard in most relationships to say what I actually want, think, and feel. I have to work hard to not be overwhelmed by anxiety.

This is not a pity party post. We all have our shit. We all have our work. Still, my shit is valid, and I will not minimize my own experiences. I owe myself advocacy, loyalty, and respect.

P.S.:

1. @therapywithmaggielpc posts such good content.

2. Per our friends @merriamwebster

considerate

adjective

con·sid·er·ate | \ kən-ˈsi-d(ə-)rət \

Definition

1: marked by or given to careful consideration : CIRCUMSPECT

2: thoughtful of the rights and feelings of others