Favorite Quotes

“If growing up is painful for the Southern Black girl, being aware of her displacement is the rust on the razor that threatens the throat. It is an unnecessary insult.”

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

"...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you; we are in charge of our attitudes."

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Happy Birthday, Mother

When I was younger, I was convinced, in a childish, egocentric way, I knew better than my Mother. I viewed her life and choices from a judgemental, critical perspective. I failed to understand that the reason I thought independently and voiced with audacity is because I stood on her teachings, planted by her sacrifices and watered by her experiences.

My mother carried and birthed me at 16 years of age. A little over a month later, on December 31st 1990, she turned 17. She was a baby herself, but nevertheless, she parented. 

Years later, when I was 17 and she was 33, I thought "How dare she? How dare she fall a part? She has responsibilities. She's a mother. She's a grown woman. She should handle life better. Her coping skills should be better."

Today, as I stand around the corner from 30, I think "How did she? It's just me. I'm college-educated. I earn more than my mother earned, but she made it work WITH three children. How did she? How did she do it? How did she stand so strong for so long? How did she recover? How does she still have faith? How did she still love and trust? How did she forgive? How does she have any semblance of sanity and peace?" 

Now, I think "If she did, and I know she did, then I can. I know I will."My Mother did not teach me perfection. I saw her fail and struggle, but I witness her grow and defy. My Mother models resilience in womanhood and motherhood and life. 

I wish her the happiest of birthdays. May every day of this new year, age 46 and year 2020, bring you ever more closer to joy, peace, and prosperity. I love you, Sister. I love you, SisterWoman. I love you, Mama.

"My mother's gifts of courage to me were both large and small. The latter are woven so subtly into the fabric of my psyche that I can hardly distinguish where she stops and I begin."
- Mom & Me & Mom | Maya Angelou

"She said, "All right, you go, but remember this: when you cross my doorstep, you have already been raised. With what you have learned from your Grandmother Henderson in Arkansas and what you have learned from me, you know the difference between right and wrong. Do right. Don't let anybody raise you from the way you have been raised. Know you will always have to make adaptations, in love relationships, in friends, in society, in work, but don't let anybody change your mind."
- Mom & Me & Mom | Maya Angelou

"She liberated me from a society that would have had me think of myself as the lower of the low. She liberated me to life."
- Mom & Me & Mom | Maya Angelou

"I really saw clearly, and for the first time, why a mother is really important. Not just because she feeds and also loves and cuddles and even mollycoddles a child, but because in an interesting and maybe an eerie and unworldly way, she stands in the gap. She stands between the unknown and the known."
- Mom & Me & Mom | Maya Angelou

Sunday, December 29, 2019

I belong to You.

You're more real than the ground I'm standing on
You're more real than the wind in my lungs
You're thoughts define me
You're inside me
You're my reality

Abba, I belong to You
Abba, I belong to You

[You're closer than the skin on my bones
You're closer than the song on my tongue
You're thoughts define me
You're inside me
You're my reality

Abba, I belong to You
Abba, I belong to You

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Dream Big Big One

Sometimes, in order to protect myself and my heart, I stifle the desire for a thing or person. I deny it outright with such vigor that I am convinced I never desired that thing or person at all. Denial can be temporarily effective, but it is not a long-term solution.

Recently, I accepted that I desired something more than I thought possible. The realization scared me 💩less. It still scares me, but here I am "feeling the fear" and not denying myself the beauty of that vision. I feel the hope in spite of the possibility that everything may not go according to plan, and this will not be an easy journey.

I feel ill-prepared and overwhelmed, but my heart is open in a way that is wonderfully brave and vulnerable. I feel undereducated and uncomfortable, but I know a force of excitement that is barely containable. I feel panic that can only be described as "Expletive! Expletive! EXPLETIVE!," and I have peace and joy that can only be described as Philippians 4:7.

I recently talked to my 6 year old stepsister who advised me that she wanted to be a Scientist, Veterinarian, and "Solver" (investigator or detective) among other things. She asked me, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" She gave me permission to dream big because in her hopeful, extraordinary, bright mind, no vision is beyond realization. (Thank you, Daniyah!)

Maybe, and I have a good feeling about this, becoming like little children is not only the path to humility and Heaven. Becoming like children it is the path imagination and a purposeful, visionary life. Opening oneself to one's vision, dreams, and desires is opening oneself to hope and imagination.

My heart's desires are not outlandish or impossible or beyond my capabilities, capacity, or grasp. Neither are your heart's desires. I purchased a children's book for myself, Dream Big Little One by Vashti Harrison, and I'm so excited to read it. (It will be delivered tomorrow. 😁😁😁) With a sense of urgency, I implore you and me:

Dream Big Big One 🖤

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

What do you want?

"I want a guy to show me myself. I want him to love me so deeply, I’m not afraid to show him how ugly I can be. I want him to show me scars I never knew I had. But I don’t want him to make them go away. I want him to hold my hand while I nurse them myself. And I want him to cherish the bruises they leave behind." - Queen & Slim