Favorite Quotes

“If growing up is painful for the Southern Black girl, being aware of her displacement is the rust on the razor that threatens the throat. It is an unnecessary insult.”

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

"...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you; we are in charge of our attitudes."

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Monday, February 27, 2017

221.2

I am firm in my belief that an individual's weight should never determine his/her confidence. It's not an indicator of beauty. It's not a way to measure the quality of person. Even still, I debated rather sharing this picture was a good idea. I also toyed with the idea of waiting until the morning to weigh to see if the number would lower a bit. (Girl, get over yourself.) While I have the courage, however, I decided to be brave.

I am 5'5 and 221.2 pounds as of February 27, 2017 at 8:57 pm. Right now, in this very moment at this particular weight, I am beautiful. (PERIOD) I am sexy. (PERIOD) I am intelligent. (PERIOD) And, I have fucking awesome moments of being the adorable, complex, bitchy, weird, goofy, sweet, serious, paradoxical, totally human, woman that I am. (PERIOD) I just want to be a healthier version of me, practice discipline, and challenge myself to eat healthier, exercise regularly, and reach my health goals. Sharing this picture won't make any of that happen. I'm aware. For me, right now, this is a way to own it.

Goal:
When I check in at end of March, I will be 214 (or less.) 😜

P.S.
I am down from 235. Also, I have not had meat in 58 days! 💪😊

Don't Give Up!

A sweet customer shared this nice card with me today. It was gentle, timely reminder. I hope your Monday was good. If it was not, I hope tomorrow is better. It's difficult to keep perspective sometimes, but we must try. Every day won't be good. Life may not always be easy, but keep moving towards your goals even if you have to move slowly.

Don't give up!

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Don't Let Shit Fester

There are many depraved people in this world, looking and acting normal as fuck, engaging in all kinds of sick shit. I don't know if it's nature or nurture, but we need not neglect our mental health, forsake therapy, or reject medication when medically necessary. All of us who have issues lying below the surface, fucking with us on a daily basis, need to commit to talking about it, working through it, and healing. Don't let shit fester.

Third Floor

I chose the third floor because I wanted to feel safe. A single woman, living alone, safety was my highest priority. For some reason, with no good reason, being on the third floor added security. So when he moved in, naively, I thought safety was an inactive consideration. After all, I was living with a strong man on my beloved third floor. For a short while I was safe. It actually felt safe. He checked the doors, ensured they were locked, investigated odd sounds, and together, with the third floor, kept fear out. Goals partially achieved, no stranger ventured up the three flights to harm me, but hurt came nonetheless. And fear permeated my home, my safe space. On the third floor, kicking the walls, banging on the floor, fighting and pleading, I was miles away from safety. Though it took me longer than I care to admit, I came to realize that the third floor could not protect me from who I allowed in. I put my safety in unsafe hands, and I am accountable for that decision. My protection is not the guarantee of any floor or obligation of any man. I am responsible for me. I can check my own doors, ensuring they are locked, investigate odd sounds, and keep the injurious people out.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

"Girl, a sexy bear..."

Being bratty and playful, I told my mom that she and my dad were responsible for my hairiness, and they had a human bear. She responded, among other things, "Girl, a sexy bear..." 😂😂😂 That seeped into my spirit in the best way. Lol! I've gone months without waxing or threading, but it's okay. I'm a sexy bear. ❤

Nineteen

At nineteen, though so much was uncertain, I was sure of you. I knew you were a special, beautiful person, and I wanted to be connected to you. I also knew I never wanted to hurt you. At nineteen, I told you about a letter I wrote to God and how you were everything I described. I wrote that letter at my mom's instruction detailing all the things I wanted in a husband, but at nineteen, nine hours away from home, finally entering the world on my own, I was not ready to be wife. Hell, at nineteen I wasn't prepared to be a girlfriend. I told you and asked for your friendship. I thank God for the wisdom that nineteen year old displayed in those moments. Because of it, we had the foundation to build the most genuine relationship. At nineteen, you were my first. You were the first young man whom I shared intimacy with free of sex and free from fear. You allowed me to open up, so I told you things my closest girlfriends didn't know. I exposed parts of me unknown even to the guys experiencing my body, and you had to most perfect response. You reciprocated. I still remember the day we met. You were in the cafeteria. I was in the entry line. It was my turn. I pulled out my student id while making conversation with the sweet lady verifying my meal plan. When I looked up, there you were, carrying your tray, smiling. We made eye contact. I remember thinking something was going to become of that brief, lasting moment. I was right. We built a friendship that survived disagreements, infrequent communication, rare visits, new partners, ex-partners, marriage, divorce, life, and all the toxic forces that seek to eliminate purity in relationships. It amazes me that the nineteen year old girl who made so many poor decisions got this one so right. Our seven years of friendship mean more to me than you could know. At twenty-six I am as grateful for you as I was at nineteen, and I need my friend, my special, beautiful friend, as much today as I did back then.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Comfort

The longer I live the more
I sense life's brevity.
Another day is not promised;
tomorrow's not guaranteed.
So let's take the moments we're given
and make sweet memories
to remind us that time is precious
and love is everything.
And whenever that day arrives;
when I am out of time,
I pray you have a recollection flood.
May you take comfort in remembering
a beautiful life of being fiercely loved.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Dedicated to Gloria Jean Drennon

Dedicated to Gloria Jean Drennon, my Granny...I wrote this on December 25, 2015.

Dedicated to O.C. Brown

Dedicated to O.C. Brown, my Grandpa...I wrote this on March 24, 2014.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Saturday, February 18, 2017

It's My Own Fault

Your actions said
"This is who I am,"
But I focused on
who you could be.
Cognizant of reality,
I chose the dream.

Look Past Me

You were looking for beauty.
You looked past me.
You were looking for perfection,
So you looked past me.
You were looking for riches,
And you looked past me.
You were looking for easy;
You looked past me.
Opened eyes, closed heart,
You missed my best parts.
You looked past my spirit,
My beautifully gentle, perfectly human,
Richly kind, and easily complex spirit.
You live on the surface, inert, afraid of depth,
Rejecting everything that helps you see yourself.
There is nothing physical about seeing within.
Don't do me any favors; please look past me again.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Repossession

I once believed my body
was crafted for you.
My lips, my thighs,
my breasts, my hips,
every feature,
surely cherry-picked
as if the Creator
purposed me to fulfill
your request.
Made to order, tailored,
to satisfy your desires,
I wore my hair
'feminine'
the way you liked.
'Keep it straight, baby,
you look nice.'
Dressed to please your eyes
without revealing 'too much.'
Comfortable in my skin
because you thought it pleasing.
Confidence and obsession
for the wrong damn reasons.
How did I ever stoop
so low as to lie
bare in your presence,
presenting myself
like some sacrificial
offering for heaven?
You are not God,
and my body is
not your possession.
Take a good look.
Yes, 'all of that is mine.'
Its curves are for me.
Its wetness is for me.
Its softness and sexiness,
its beauty and imperfections,
all of it, for me.
I own my body in its entirety,
from the ends of my afro
to the bottom of my feet.
I am a proud repossession,
happily reclaimed, for me, by me.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

June 2016 vs. February 2017

Tonight after my deep condition versus when I cut my hair in June...Slowly, but surely I'm getting my big afro back, and I will not make another emotional hair decision again. 🙄💁🙃

Friday, February 10, 2017

My Sister's Freedom

Today my heart cries for my sister's pain.
I know her by experience; I don't have to share her genetics or know her name.
I feel her; I am inextricably connected to her.
She should pride herself in sleeping each night.
She made it through another day of fighting for her life.
Criticized so harshly for the ways she copes
when it is a daily miracle that she doesn't implode.
Why hasn't she collapsed under that pressure, guilt, and shame?
How does she breathe constantly choked by pain?
How does she managed to smile?
She's known sorrow, intimately, since she was a child.
Have you heard her? How does she still have a voice and song?
How does that woman keep on keeping on?
She is a wonder.
My sister, you are wonder, beautiful and amazing.
You inspire awe.
I will praise you for your strength until you realize that you're strong.
I will admire your will until you are assured that you are powerful.
I will celebrate your presence until you accept that you are worthy.
I will use my voice to refute every lie you ever believed about yourself.
And, one day it will happpen.
One day, my heart will rejoice for my sister's freedom.
Until that day, for her, I'll keep praying, hoping, and believing.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Reminder

This is a paraphrase of something Mrs. Coretta Scott King said in her book, My Life, My Love, My Legacy. For everyone with educational aspirations, here is a "why" for us.
#corettascottking #education
#goals #keeppushing #wecandoit
#blackhistorymonth

This Is Us

I shared this message from the latest episode of @nbcthisisus on FB & had to share it here as well. Right? ☺Btw, have you watched #thisisus? It is my favorite; it's deliciously good! Check it out!  #thisisus #love #relationships #marriage #life #happy #happiness #goodnight #goodnightpost

What I Am Currently Reading:

"Before I was married to Martin and became a King, I was a proud Scott, shaped by my mother's discernment and my father's strength." 👏👏👏💪❤
#corettascottking #mlk #martinlutherking #read #reading #book #books #blackhistorymonth

We Are Americans Too

Racial, ethnic, and religious minorities are Amercians too. Women are Americans too. Gay people are Americans too. Poor people are Americans too. We are all Amercians.
#Americans #weareallAmericans
#atheists #buddist #christians #hindus #muslims #nativeamericans #africanamericans #asianamericans #europeanamericans #latinoamericans #women #men #LGBTQ
#rich #poor #weareAmericanstoo

Monday, February 6, 2017

"They should get over it."

Slavery has long passed, but it is an important part of the United States' history. I would argue that one cannot begin to understand race relations, systemic racism and oppression, and the history and current condition of the African American community without examining slavery. Racism, on the other hand, is alive and present. It is not a thing of the past.  Slavery and racism are not the same; the terms cannot be used interchangeably. 

The 13th Amendment abolished the "peculiar institution" and set the parameters for involuntary servitude in this country. It could not and did not correct racism. Although slavery was formally ended with the 13th Amendment, passed by Congress on January 31, 1865 and ratified by the states on December 6, 1865, the amendment proved insufficient to redress the racial prejudice that spawn from 246 years of enslaving and dehumanizing black people. Almost 100 years after its passage, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Voting Rights Act of 1965, still necessary, were enacted into law. Today, over 50 years post the Civil Rights Era, here we are. We still find ourselves still dealing with the ugly remnants of slavery: racism, prejudice, discrimination, hatred, and bigotry.

So when I hear someone say, “they should get over it.” “It” refers to slavery; “they” refers to black people. I must admit that I feel a combination of offense and annoyance. If “get over it” means black people today should not be angry at anyone, particularly white people of today, that slavery existed, I agree.  It is not their fault! Those responsible for the development of that devastating institution are not around anymore.  There is no one left to blame or be angry at. Anger would be unproductive and misplaced.

If “get over it” means forget about slavery, I completely disagree. Slavery is a part of our history---the history of the United States; the history of all Amercians; the history of black people. I do not think we should ever forget about it or "get over it." We should not trivialize the genocide, sacrifices, and oppression of those who were swallowed by our country for generations. We should not forget the injustices and human casualties that occur when our actions and policies do not align with our values and principles.

I cannot overlook slavery. You shouldn't either. While you and I are not responsible for what happened centuries before our time, we are obligated to ensure it never happens to any individual or any group in our country ever again.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Bonding over Bullshit

I am guilty of bonding with people over bullshit. I've learned, mostly the hard way, that liking and together engaging in the same type of unhealthy, self-defeating, harmful behaviors does not make two people friends. It makes them comfortable with their bad behavior. Stop the tomfoolery, make positive changes, and see if that "friend" will still be around. More times than not, the relationship will end when the bullshit ends.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Dr. Carter G. Woodson

Dr. Carter G. Woodson "Carter G. Woodson was an African-American writer and historian known as the 'Father of Black History Month.' He penned the influential book The Mis-Education of the Negro."
http://www.biography.com/people/carter-g-woodson-9536515#early-life

"In 1915, he and friends established the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History. A year later, the Journal of Negro History, began quarterly publication. In 1926, Woodson proposed and launched the annual February observance of Negro History Week, which became Black History Month in 1976. It is said that he chose February for the observance because February 12th was Abraham Lincoln’s birthday and February 14th was the accepted birthday of Frederick Douglass.

Dr. Woodson was the founder of Associated Publishers, the founder and editor of the Negro History Bulletin, and the author of more than 30 books. His best known publication is The Mis-Education of the Negro, originally published in 1933 and still pertinent today.

He died in 1950, but Dr. Woodson’s scholarly legacy goes on."
http://www.woodsonmuseum.org/about-us