Renaissance

There is a lot on my mind and heart tonight. I wrote much of it down. Although I am not ready that share yet, I do want to share these lyrics.

Lately I play one album over and over.

 

Beyonce's Renaissance. 

I'll admit; I am new to the Bey-Hive. Lemonade converted me. It was released around the time of my separation and divorce. Renaissance was released July 29, 2022 - a month or so after another major life event. 

It is my rally cry and elixir. It clears mental space and shifts energy for me. I play Renaissance for renewal. 

Tonight while on the treadmill I had a different, visceral reaction to Break My Soul. I began to cry. The lyrics moved me like worship music and books. I understood. 

This is about release, rebirth, and revival.

I go around in circles and around in circles searching for love. I go up and down, get lost and found, searching for love. I am looking for something that lives inside me. Why am I looking for something that lives inside me?...I'm taking my new salvation, and I will build my own foundation.

I will release my wiggle.

I will release my anger.

I will release my mind.

I will release my job.

I will release the time.

I will release my trade.

I will release the stress.

I will release the love.

I will forget the rest...

You won't break my soul.

(~Beyonce)

(Post-workout - Feeling revived and stronger - The shirt was not picked on purpose, but the confirmation is clear.)

Friday's Goodness

In the words of Auntie Tab, "that's my business." My gifts are my business. My mental and physical health are my business. I am 100% my business.

Self-Soothing

Music, laughter, dancing (even a party for one), knitting, cooking—finding what naturally soothes you not only regulates your heart and mind, it helps you stay open to the goodness in you and in the world. 

- What Happened To You? 

This - moving energy from and pushing my body - helps. 

(Post workout & cool down)

Unapologetic

Thinking about this tree & taking up space 

📷 September 14, 2021

Better Choices = Better Days

Tonight I worked out, and it did me a world of good. I walked, jogged, lunged, and jump-roped myself into a better mood. Every day I have a set of choices, and I can choose things and people that replenish. I am worthy of enrichment and peace.

What Happened To You?

This is an empathy and awareness expanding listen/read.

January 01, 2023

On New Year's Day I removed my braids. 

Silly as it may read, I wanted to enter into 2023 looking like me. For over two hours, I stood in the mirror listening to Will, unraveling, detangling, and removing artifice. 

There's nothing wrong with "added hair" (aka weave/extensions) or protective styling. They were beautifully done. I liked them a lot. Honestly, I liked people's reaction to me with them.

Right now I need to lean into my relationship with self. I need to learn self-acceptance and love and unlearn people-pleasing and attention-seeking. And, removal of hair that made me feel and appear "younger," "prettier," "more feminine," etcetera was necessary.

"I am not my hair." 🎵

In the same way that I must learn to tend to my soul, heart, and healing, I must learn to tend to my hair. It is not easy, but it's mine. I am not easy, but I am mine.

Welcome back 'Fro! I know the struggle and see the growth. I may not look enthused to see you, but I am committed. 😉😅

Welcome 2023! Happy New Year!